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The Ten Commandments of Safe Computer Operation


  1. I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before me. Bill Gates! God complex! 60 billion! His false or strange God of course would be Linux!

  2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.  Except when thou has a blue screen

  3. Remember thou keep the Sabbath Day.  This would be the seventh day. God rested. You should scan for viruses.

  4. Honor thy Father and thy Mother. Thy father, Vint Cerf and thy Motherboard, of course.

  5. Thou shalt not kill.  Of course, viruses, spyware, malware, badware, adware and shovelware are exempt, right?

  6. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Never, ever use a Mac.

  7. Thou shalt not steal. MP3's or anything else you know is not free

  8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.  This is like saying your computer is faster than your neighbors and you know it's not.
  9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife.  Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors incredibly fast high speed broadband connection
  10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's goods.  Thou shalt not connect to thy neighbors wireless network

* The Ten Commandments were copied from this site.

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